Big Boxer (Big Boys) by Cassie Mint
Author:Cassie Mint [Mint, Cassie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Black Cherry Publishing
Published: 2021-09-29T16:00:00+00:00
Six
Beck
Itâs only been two days, and Lucas is wearing another black polo with dark green sweatpants, but he looks different somehow. More tired, maybe, or just harsher. His eyes are tight and his jaw is clenched.
Spark report: no sparks found.
I donât say that out loud. Iâm not an idiot.
âI want to apologize.â My words are so quiet, swallowed up by the cool air. I clear my throat, and force myself to speak louder. He deserves to hear this. âIâm sorry.â
âFor what?â Lucas sounds almost bored, his frown fixed on my skirt. I shift my weight, but donât reach for the hem.
âFor⦠messing up,â I finish vaguely. I donât know how else to explain it. All I know is I missed a really important cue back in my apartment, and when I did, I screwed everything up.
Lucas grunts. Itâs not good enough.
âDonât worry about it,â he says, and raises an arm. Gestures to the door.
âIt was all new, you know?â I speak quicker now. I donât want to leave yet. âIâve never done that before. Any of it. And I know I reacted wrong, but it wasnâtâI didnât mean anything by it.â I draw a deep breath into my lungs and hold it for two beats. Then gust out my confession: âI loved what we did. I mean, really loved it.â
Lucas looks at me, finally. His hard gaze has softened, but his jaw is still clenched, shadowed with stubble. He seems almost regretful as he takes in my white sweater, my loose hair, my nervous stance.
âThatâs okay, Beck.â His words are a relief and a disappointment, all in one. âIt was a hook-up, thatâs all. You didnât have to come here.â
âNo.â
I canât stand that idea. This canât beâthis canât be it.
Heâs Lucas Scott. The man Iâve been dreaming of, yearning for, all these years. And the worst part is, heâs nothing like how I imagined.
Heâs so much better. Gentle as well as strong.
And for a crazy second there, I actually had him. Before I screwed it all up, anyway. But you donât grow up loving boxing unless you love the rush of a challenge. So I pull together the last threads of my courage, draw myself up to my full height, and meet his shocking blue gaze head on.
âI donât want it to be over yet.â
Silence.
Stillness.
Lucas rolls his head on his neck, watching me. Is this how prey animals feel? My heart flutters beneath my sweater, beating a mile a minute. He seems to get bigger, somehow, muscles swelling under his clothes, and the air shivers between us.
âSo what do you want?â His words are gravel. Scraped from his chest.
âTo return the favor,â I whisper.
Butâno. His mouth twists, and Iâve said the wrong thing. Gone wrong again. He sits back, disappointed, and all that primal intensity is gone. Drained away like it was never here, was never mine.
âIt wasnât a favor,â he clips out. âThereâs nothing owed.â He gestures for the door again, and this time he really wants me to leave.
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